Greetings from your friend, ME!

This weekend has been about as eventful as oh… the squashed rat I run by… you remember him… Steven. Yesterday I went shopping for a suit for my interviews, which should be stacking up right about now but have yet to be scheduled. Staying positive though! Isn’t there a saying that dress and act how you want to live and it will happen? Something like that. So I guess that means if I dress in my suit and walk around downtown someone will assume I need a job and invite me into my 11th floor office so I can start brainstorming all the ways to solve the world’s problems? I can hope right?

My biggest personal accomplishment of the weekend so far: I learned Excel yesterday! Woohoot! Thank heaven for YouTube and free tutorials! I learned how to make a spreadsheet, and some other interesting things but mainly, just enough to put it on my resume! Check that off the list! On to my next highlight of the weekend…

I did observe some interesting people at the Lakewood Mall yesterday. *Vent Alert* One of my biggest pet peeve’s are parents who allow their children to become overweight. I think it is the number one WORST parenting mishap of today’s society. It’s sad. It’s murder. It’s downright irresponsible and people who choose to reproduce and allow it to happen should be under social-services probation. As you can tell, I feel very strongly about it and when I passed a family of six (don’t even get me started on population control) I noticed that five out of those six were well over the recommended weight for their height and age. The only one that wasn’t overweight was the infant who hadn’t been alive enough days to consume the amount of calories her family was planning on feeding her. So there this family sat, happy as clams, eating Gelatto in front of Radio Shack.

Honey Boo Boo

After my eyes healed from the sight, I did happen to find two nice suit jackets and some necessities at Target, and developed a craving for a 69 cent Vanilla Cone from McDonald’s and enjoyed every frozen drop. See, the irony here is I just badmouthed this entire generation for consuming Gelatto but the step they are missing is the hour of outdoor activity doctors recommend to them on their annual checkup. With that said, I came home and blasted BPM (the best dance channel on XM Radio) for an hour and danced in my room. If you haven’t danced by yourself, do it. It’s therapeutic, it’s fun, and it’s excercise. Plus, you can look like an idiot or a stripper and no one will ever have to know about it! I lean toward the idiot side more but that’s what makes it so fun.

Today I woke up at 7 a.m. and went to breakfast with my Dad. I discovered that he was on an online dating sight before he met my stepmother and learned that women lie. This is a boring story that is going no where so that’s all I’ll say about that. We came home and he offered my $20 to take all these cardboard boxes to the alley way behind the house so the recycle-guy could pick them up. I would have done it for free considering I’m not 12, but since he offered before assuming I would just do it, I took the $20. Then, here comes the most productive part of my day, I installed a ceiling fan! Yes, me, this English major who has no engineering skills whatsoever, installed a mechanical houseware fixture and it works! Of course, I had help, but for the most part I put in the little remote control sensor thing and put on the blades and the little lamp shade things. My dad did the wiring and we had to take apart the “canopy” and the “mounting case” because I screwed them together backwards but it’s up and in business! I’ve been a little Homemaker-Worker today if I do say so myself. I also replaced some switch plates and its not even 2 p.m.

Tonight I am taking my Dad to Fuddrucker’s for an Ostrich burger and then we are going to see The Other Guys with Will Ferrel and Mark Wahlberg. Should be funny… I’ll write more if I have another reason to rant.

I’m having a food baby and George Foreman is the daddy.

Day 2 of Blogging Through Unemployment and nothing much has happened. I job hunted for nine hours yesterday and have never been in so much pain from sitting in my whole life! My eyes were burning, my ankles were swollen and my back was throbbing. Overall, it was pretty successful though. I found five jobs at Disney and one was an Admin. Assistant position in Glendale and get this… one of the requirements was to have a knowledge and understanding of cartoons! Can you believe it! I knew all that cartoon loving would pay off one day. There were also four Executive Assistant positions that are little much of a reach but at this point, I’ll try my hardest just to get out of living at my dad’s and being bored. To give you an idea of how creative (borderline-desperate) I’m getting, I emailed Sam the Cooking Guy and asked him if he needed an assistant. The email went something like this:

Hi Sam and Whomever Else Reads This –

My name is Jessica Jacobs, I grew up in Encinitas, I’m 24, and besides that, I know you’re busy so I will get to the point. I was wondering if you need an assistant? I just graduated from California State University of Long Beach and have been submitting resume after resume to these 9-5’er jobs with no luck. Like you, I have traveled to many countries around the world, 14 to be exact and don’t really have much of a desire to sit in an office for eight hours and make silly conversation with Susie-Co-Worker about how her husband needs to man-up or how her son is driving her nuts. Have I got off track a bit? Sorry, back to business… bottom line is, I enjoy your show, my mom and I have tried several of your recipes and we look for you when we hit up Henry’s in La Costa because rumor has it, you frequent that store! I am an okay cook (getting much better) and a not so great “chef”, but my tasting skills are on point! I am a hard worker, organized and I know how to mix sarcasm and professionalism to get the job done. I realize this is a long-shot but as you can see, I’m testing the waters and getting creative! So, let me know your thoughts, suggestions, or just a motivating “thanks but no thanks, good luck” response works too. I attached a resume in case you were curious about my background work experience.

Thanks for your time and consideration. I wish you the best of luck with your new book launch and let me know if you need anything else!

I highly doubt anything will come of it but it doesn’t hurt to try. Other than that, I went for a really good run and the same squashed rat is still on the corner of Del Mar Ave. and whatever road is next to it at the park. I’m beyond the point of boredom so I named him Steven. Well, he would have been Steven before someone ran him over. To highlight the title of this blog, I pulled out the good ol’ George Foreman Grill and have made pretty much every other meal on it. I have made chicken tacos, fish-nugget tacos, and probably more fish-nugget tacos today unless something exciting comes up, but I highly doubt it.

I started and finished laundry last night, cleaned out my workout drawer and have a whole bag to donate and throw away! My one good deed for the day. I opened up my new Oral-B toothbrush and that was pretty eventful. I can’t believe that biggest event of my day involves a toothbrush and George Foreman. I need a job. I may go to Kohl’s today and look for boots but since I have no where to wear them, it’s kind of pointless. Maybe I’ll buy more toothpaste! Yeah, that’s my plan, toothpaste and maybe clean the bathroom. Woohoot.

Maybe I should start bringing in other characters to this thing. I talked to my mom yesterday, actually, we BBM’d. Life is so impersonal these days, I think I could go weeks without actually talking to someone and still know everything about their life just from Facebook and text messaging. Sad. Anyways, My mom is amazing. She’s one of those people that once they pass away the one thing you’ll miss the most is their laugh. Cheesy, but true. She is golfing three times this weekend which in all reality would be the last way I would want to spend a weekend after working a 60 hour week, but whatever floats your boat I guess. Christine is my best friend and she is going to a country concert, I wasn’t really invited but even if I was I probably would have said no.

The View just came on and it’s time to change the channel. I will catch you up after the weekend and let you know if anything life-changing happens. Hopefully I get a phone call today from Disney saying we want you, we need you, oh baby oh baby! Or Sam, maybe Sam will give me a call! Fingers Crossed.

Day One of Blogging through Unemployment

Hi all! This is the official blog of the girl who rushed through college to graduate and become one in the 14.9 million unemployed Americans. Woohoot! Now that we have determined I am staying positive and still waking up with a smile… let’s see where this blog will take me in the meantime. To start, welcome to my life! Today was a little more productive than yesterday when I slept in until , oh, 11 a.m., I didn’t work out but not to my let-down because I had no intention of working out when I fell asleep the night before. I also went grocery shopping, Trader Joe’s is a staple in my life so one of my job requirements is there must be a Trader Joe’s within 15 miles of my career. Seems silly, but they’ve done studies to see how happy people are in their work-life and have found that certain amenities (like good ol’ TJ’s) must remain in a person’s life in order for them to maintain ultimate contentment.

You’ll also find that I make things up. For example, while I am sure there are random studies like the one listed above, I have never done official research to find these things out. I figure, as a writer, I can say whatever I want as long as I am not fabricating really important facts like “Bill Cosby died today” or “I have a Master’s in Geology from Cornell.” Moving on, after my trip to Trader Joe’s I put my groceries away, cut up some of the veggies and found out that I love raw zucchini with Ranch. It’s the little things in life that keep you going, ya know? When you find a new website you love, or a new television show, or that you have a hankering for zucchini and Ranch on a hot SoCal day.

After, groceries and the newfound love of raw roughage, I took a nap. Stop judging, I realize I just admitted to staying awake for around three hours before hitting the hay again but when you’re unemployed, this becomes routine in order to stay out of the “I’m bored, it’s been an hour, I should eat again” rhythm. I awoke from my nap to find that I was sweating my butt off in my 90 degrees apartment, turned on the A/C and sat down to research whatever company I thought would be a good fit for me. I applied for a position at Pioneer, I believe it is a electronic company. If I got the job I would be using my visual merchandising background and marketing! Fingers crossed for your blogger on this one. We’ll see if my theory of cover letters works. I wrote a really thoughtful one so maybe they’ll take the bait?

Today, I forced myself to wake up a little earlier and workout! I went on a great run, probably around six miles or so, and did some lazy-girl arm weights and some ab things. By some, I mean about 12 then I was over it. It’s funny how you just get to the point where all you can think about is lunch and standing in front of the mirror trying to flex yours abs is impossible for a brain and body who wants to focus on the George Foreman Grill.

I have been getting a little crazier with my cooking skills! Today was Taco Tuesday and I made chicken tacos with homemade guacamole (count it… HOMEMADE), beans and of course the Vietnamese Rooster Sauce (sriracha) that has surpassed my Spray Butter addiction in the past months. After Taco Tuesday I cleaned up, showered, and set-out to find a MS Excel course so I can put that on my resume. If there is one thing I HAVE actually slacked off on it is learning Excel. I realize this is an extremely boring topic so I won’t go into detail. Just know that if I got hired and they asked me to “make a spreadsheet” I might start crying and just walk out to spare myself the embarrassment of my boss knowing I can’t perform a simple task on the computer.

In order to feel even more productive, I only watch the history channel before 4 p.m. Today was the special on Killing Pablo, the biggest drug dealer in U.S. history. Pablo Escobar was a billionaire who got too big for his own britches and was killed by U.S. officers in 1993. FYI, the movie “Blow” is awesome if you haven’t seen it and it involves his life and career smuggling drugs into the country. Enough about cocaine though, it is now 6 p.m. and I plan on passing out before 9 p.m. so I can get my regular 12 hours of sleep and be nice and rested for a day of pretty much the same thing tomorrow. If anything over-the-top happens I’ll be sure to let you know! I feel like this is where I should have a tagline that makes me unique… This is JessicaRene, still unemployed but still smiling!